Pages

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Talk Show

As you may have surmised, I have a lot to say about a lot of things. In my opinion, most of the things I have to say are both interesting and comical. This makes me the PERFECT candidate to host a talk show.

MANY, MANY, MANY, many, many, many, MANY, MANY talk shows fail due to low viewership. Why doesn't anyone watch? Because they aren't interesting. Sure, they may be good for the first few days, maybe even weeks, but after a while the host runs out of things to talk about. For me, this isn't the case.

Talk shows aren't just about one person talking to the camera the entire time. No, talk shows require multiple people talking. Who else would be on the talk show? Ms. Diver.

Together, we would make a FANTASTIC talk show.

What proof do I have of this, you ask? Well, the other day as we were lunching, that's right, lunch is not only a noun, but also a verb. I love that fact because I love to lunch. "Shall we lunch?" is one of my favorite things to ask. It is best asked with a British accent such like that of Dame Maggie Smith portraying Dowager Countess Grantham on Downton Abbey. 

Oh, don't even get me started on how much I ADORE Downton Abbey. LOVE IT! Dame Maggie Smith as Dowager Countess Grantham and her one liners that deliver wisdom with a ZING! Too good.  


Source: tumblr
I mean, just read that quote. "Vulgatiy is no substitute for wit." That is so true. Rappers and singers can put all the cuss words they want in a song and that doesn't make me think, "Wow, how original and inspiring." But when they make a clever play on words or one that you makes you think, that's a good song.

A great example of this is Childish Gambino and their song, Freaks and Geeks. I'm not going to link to it due to its explicit nature which is a shame. I really wish they didn't drop so many f-bombs and n-words because it takes focus away from their absolutely brilliant lyrics. I was floored with their line "took the G out from your waffle, all you got left is your ego." 

How brilliant is that? Seriously, that is awesome. So much so, I need to break this down to truly appreciate this word play. 

"Took the G out from your waffle" - alright, so waffle means running your mouth without really saying anything, just babbling on and everyone knows what being a G is.  (Mom, it stands for gangsta or gangster, think Al Capone.) But the BEST part of this is the play on the brand, Eggo Waffles. If you remove a 'g' from Eggo, you're left with the word 'ego'.

I mean, really, it doesn't get much better than that.



BUT back to the point, Ms. Diver, Ms. Hamilton, and I were lunching the other day. Ms. Diver looks at me and says, "I'm going to try this. I'm just going to throw this out there and you join when you can."

With that, she begins to sing, "Come and - "

Two words. Two words was all I needed to know where this was going. And so I joined in as we sang the chorus of the following:







Ms. Hamilton perplexed by our singing asked, "Is this a thing that you two do? Have you both done this before?"

Ms Diver responded, "No, but I had a feeling though it would work."

In addition to the chorus of the fantastic Gullah Gullah Island Theme Song, I continued singing the verse, "Just put your foot in your hand, that means hurry up, don't miss the good things that we've planned." Apparently, I was the only one of the three of us that remembered that portion of the song. But that was okay as I was then joined by Ms. Diver as we completed the melody with, "so come and let's play together in the bright, sunny weather, let's all go to Gullah, Gullah Island, Gullah, Gullah Island, Gullah Gullah Island."


In case you were wondering, Gullah Gullah Island was a show on Nick Jr. when Ms. Diver, Ms. Hamilton, and I were kids. I also just learned it was the first show designed for children that featured a black family, which is awesome. I think the most interesting thing about that fact is that as a child, I never thought "Oh wow! A black family!" Instead, when once I learned to read and saw that they all had the same last name, I thought, "They're a family in real life? A real family who sings on a TV show? Can my whole family be on a singing TV show?" But no, to this date, my family had not been on a singing TV show. Sad.



So why am I telling you about this? Well after the grand finale of our impromptu duet, Ms. Diver mentioned, "you should write about us on your blog." And although that may have been said in jest, I followed through.


I think Ms. Diver and I would have a wonderful talk show. Ms. Hamilton, whom (it is whom, right? Because you know HER and when it's him/her, you use whom and if it's she/he, you use who. Back me up on this or correct me because I'm not sure.) most of you know as the JV field hockey and lacrosse coach would be fantastic on the show. She would be the person who would just shake her head at Ms. Diver's and my antics. To be fair, they are pretty incredible antics.



Our show might not be syndicated world-wide, country-wide, or even state-wide. However, I think it would be a great thing. Perhaps, I should start an online petition or kickstarter to call for the need for us to host a talk show.


And how do I know we'd never run out of things to talk about? Because Ms. Diver does incredible things like going to see Cher, having Semis perform at Carnegie Hall, travel the world. And I do things like go white water rafting, kayaking, hiking, dog related activities, rescue animals in bizarre scenarios, y'know, the usual. Since we do such different things, the discussion topics are endless.

Oh, how I desperately want this to become a thing.

3 comments:

  1. Remember that time we saw Gullah Gullah Island LIVE??!? More importantly, remember when we were way too old to enjoy seeing Gullah Gullah Island Live? Good times, good times.

    ReplyDelete
  2. jessa,, i am so glad you remember see gullah gullah at wolf trap. you all enjoyed it and daddy and i sang through the whole show....what wonderful memories. thank you rachel for reminding me of gullah and the island.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mom, it isn't Gullah AND the island. Gullah is the island. And yes, Jessa, I remember it too well. We were MORTIFIED. Mom, Dad, and Melissa were thrilled.

    ReplyDelete