Career Options

Over the weekend, Joey and I discovered that I could be a part-time truck driver. You see, we moved 15 minutes away. This required us to rent a moving truck, a 20 footer.

I had a great time driving that baby. The reason for this is I used to drive a mini bus. And not just any mini bus, an obnoxiously splatter painted with hand prints bus, filled with children.

This is the bus I drove all over Southwest Virginia - 

Now, I know what you are thinking. You're thinking, "that's a pretty sweet minibus. I wish I could ride something that cool." I know. 

Imagine you, being all lame, walking on the sidewalk, then something pulls up next to you. You look up to see a smorgasbord of color, blues, yellows, reds, greens. You look through the door to see the driver and kids, ages six to twelve years old rocking out.  This thing had up pretty sweet surround sound. This occurred twice a day, five days a week for an entire school year.

One time as I drove to pick up one of my kids from their school and bring them to day care, I came across an odd sight in the road. No, it wasn't a chicken! It was a turtle shell. It was in the middle of the road and I didn't want to risk running it over. What if I squished a turtle? 

So, I looked behind me and checked to make sure there weren't any cars behind me. I then, stopped the bus, in the dead center of the road, a few feet behind the turtle shell. I walked up to the turtle shell and out popped a turtle! I named him Pablo. 

A woman in her seventies came rushing out of a worn down building. She shuffled forward, wagging her finger in the air. "Is that turtle back again? If I've told him once, I've told him a million times, don't walk across the street!" 

This woman seemed VERY familiar with this turtle. The clearly had a history. We stood over the turtle as she peered down, disappointed by the turtle's decision to again cross the road. While she listed the different times she moved this turtle, I decided to name him. 

"Pablo. Your name will be Pablo" I thought. "Hm, where is Pablo's family?" I wondered. "Pablo, where is your family?" I asked aloud. The turtle looked at me, the woman continued talking about how she picked him up here and moved him all the way over there. A lot of hand gestures went along with this. Approximately every 20 seconds, I nodded in agreement with whatever she was saying. Sometimes I would catch pieces of it, along the lines of "there used to be water here, but it's gone" and "why doesn't he get it? I told him to find a pond." I wasn't sure how to explain that Pablo didn't comprehend English or any other language for that matter. He only spoke turtle, unlike Lila, who I am convinced understands me sometimes. 

I picked up Pablo and decided I would bring him to Duck Pond, a popular pond at Virginia Tech. There he could spend his days lounging on rocks, swimming in deep waters, and not being run over. 

"Where you takin' the turtle?" The woman asked. 

"To a nice pond, far away from any dangerous roads." With that, I scooped up Pablo and we headed back to the bus. 

As I climbed onto the bus, I realized a snafu in my plan. There was a point to driving the minibus around town, it was to pick up children from their schools and take them back to daycare.

I was supposed to pick up a 6 year old girl at 3:10pm. It was currently 3:00pm. There was no way I could make it to the pond and drop Pablo off before that. I couldn't take the girl on a random field trip, or could I? 

I called up the day center and quickly rambled the details of Pablo. It went along the lines of, "found turtle, need Hailey's mom's phone number, setting Pablo free at Duck Pond, spontaneous field trip - it's a thing. It is SO a thing. Well, I just made it a thing."

I called the little girl's mom at work and explained that her daughter was fine and she needn't be worried. I just wanted to take her to a pond to free a turtle and we would be a little late to day care. The mom, confused, agreed after I promised her daughter's safety and well-being would not be jeopardized. 

Now, I had to drive the bus and pick up the little girl. BUT what about Pablo? If I put him on a seat on the bus, he would fall off or climb off. What if he fell and cracked his shell open? I couldn't sew his shell shut. He couldn't be buckled into the seat. I would have to hold him on my lap while driving*. 

*DON'T EVER DO THAT. EVER.

I did just that, carefully driving to the little girl's school. I was 10 minutes late and she was standing there crying, being comforted by a teacher. I pulled up and opened the door. I didn't even get the chance to apologize because the moment she saw the turtle, her disgruntled demeanor disappeared. 

"I want to hold it!" She shouted with glee. 

Now, I have always been taught to use manners and expect nothing less from your average 6 year old. 

"Let's try that again," I said. 

"May I please hold that?" 

"This is Pablo, the turtle. He is scared right now, but once we get to the pond, I will let you set him free."

"Ok." She sat down and patiently waited as we drove to the pond.

"Wait, the pond?" She asked as we arrived. "This isn't daycare." 

"I know, I called your mom and she said it was alright for me to bring you to the pond to release Pablo." 

We released Pablo into Duckpond. Wait, this was not at all the story I intended to tell. I meant to tell you all about my time moving to the new apartment and driving the truck. 

I wanted to tell you about my mom coming to help and then driving off with a car full of stuff and Lila in the opposite direction of my new apartment (not the first time she got lost that day, even with the GPS). I planned on telling you about Lila frantically barking in my mom's car as she watched me drive the truck off in the proper direction, drinking endless Dunkin Donuts Hot Chocolate to get me through the move, and my new neighbors confusion over the word base and bass, but no, I got distracted - as I do. 

Point of the Story: Well, it was supposed to be that I am currently living out of cardboard boxes and can't find the forks. We unpacked the spoons and knives, but somehow the forks are nowhere to be found. Also, the contents of my fridge are: eggs, pasta sauce, and maple syrup from Maine. It is the most amazing syrup ever. I love it. It makes pancakes and waffles EVEN BETTER. It's so good, that I bought it in Maine, bubble wrapped it, and had it shipped home. Oh my goodness, so good. I want pancakes right now, but I don't have pancake mix, or a spatula, or the griddle, or plates. Where are our plates? Wait, where are our plates? I definitely packed them. Oh, they may be in my car underneath the crab costume. That's possible.

Therefore, the point of the story is: go with the flow, even if the flow includes driving a colorful miniature bus to a pond to set free a confused little creature. Also, have you seen my plates? Or forks? Maybe my forks are with my plates.