Interactive Notebook

Going home for the holidays is not a hassle for us as our family homes are a mere 30 minutes away from where we currently live.

Spending time with my family is always interesting. First, I was introduced to what I can only describe as my mom’s interactive science journal without any science.

A Sample Page of Mom's Notebook

Let's look at this notebook together. First, everything is in lowercase cursive. The left page has a message written on it, business card pasted in, and then the curious part, a sticky note stuck to the notebook. Why didn't Mom just write the phone number down in the book? I know what you are thinking, maybe she didn't have the book with her, that's fair. However, once she had the notebook, why not just pick up a pen and copy the information from the sticky note on to the paper? But maybe that's just me. 

Now, let's look at the right page. This page better exemplifies the entirety of the Interactive Notebook. 

First, we have a cupcake turkey. I asked my mom why she cut this out and put it in the Notebook of Wonders. She explained that Jessa had made this one year and she wanted to remember.*** WHAT? Wouldn't you take a picture of the actual cupcakes Jessa made? Unless the cupcakes looked really bad and in that case you wanted a happy cupcake memory. 

UPDATE***: Apparently, Jessa never made these cupcakes. This means that my mom cut out a picture of a cupcake turkey and pasted it in the notebook because it was cute. Oh wow, that sounds like something I would do. I am my mother's daughter. 

Below the turkey cupcake is a recipe. The recipe doesn't have a title, so we have no idea of what this dish is called. The recipe doesn't have measurements because those are overrated, but it does call for 2 eggs. Thank goodness the egg amount was written down, otherwise this recipe may be somewhat confusing. 

This let's-write-down-a-recipe-but-not-include-any-measurements-except-for-the-eggs-since-egg-amounts-are-crucial is a thing with my mom. One time I asked her for our recipe to make latkes and this was our conversation

Me: Mom, what is the recipe to make latkes?

Mom: Get some potatoes, peel them, boil them, shred them, add some onion, egg. Then add some flour

Me: How much flour, Mom?

Mom: Until it looks right. 

I am going to pause here to let you take in what my mom said. "Until it looks right." That has to be the most useless direction ever. I have no idea what "right" looks like. I will never be able to recreate some family recipes that have been passed down for generations because I have no idea how much of each ingredient to use. 

Me: -confused silence- What does right look like?

Mom: Oh, you know. It looks - right.

At this point, I usually become slightly aggravated as "right" is not a standard measurement. If she had said, "one or two cups," I would have very easily dealt with the 16 oz variance. But by giving absolutely no indication to the amount means it could be as small as 1 tbsp of flour or it could be 1000 cups of flour. I have no way of knowing!

Me: Ok,  - deep breath, trying not to sound annoyed - you didn't actually tell me anything there. 

Mom: I don't know, it just looks right.

Me: -annoyed - Great, thank you. This has been incredibly helpful. 

Mom: Oh and add salt and pepper. 

I have no words. The worst part is we have this conversation over and over again for different recipes. Perhaps, I will never learn. 

Mom uses her interactive journal to remember things. The only problem is, she doesn’t always remember what it means.

The top half  has "ms. pacman" in reference to our Ms. Pacman machine. Side Note: My ENTIRE family is AMAZING at Ms. Pacman. My mom was always really good at Ms. Pacman. Then one Chanukah, my dad got us a Ms. Pacman. My sisters and I played it every day for years. We became really good at Ms. Pacman. We never get the opportunity to demonstrate our skill though as playing Ms. Pacman isn't really needed in everyday life. I couldn't add it to my resume. That would look silly. I am not the best Ms. Pacman player in the world, but I am better than your average Ms. Pacman player. However, our Ms. Pacman broke years ago. So now, it sits in our basement, collecting dust. We called all of these different repair places who told us to bring it in. 

Bring it in. Bring in the heavy machine. Even after we tell them it's in our basement, they still expect us to manage to carry the machine up the stairs. A Ms. Pacman machine weighs 300lbs. It is also incredibly bulky as it is 3 feet wide, 3 feet long, and 6.25 feet tall. A standard interior door is between 30 and 36 inches, or 2.5 to 3 feet wide. That means after we somehow managed to get the 300 pound machine up the stairs, we would have to get it through a doorway that is too narrow. 

HOW DID MY DAD GET THIS MACHINE IN OUR BASEMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE? 

After we somehow managed to either a) defy the laws of physics and magically gets the arcade game through the doorway without issue or b) destroy the door, putting countless dents in the walls, and probably rip chunks of dry wall onto the floor, (definitely b) we would then put it in our truck, OH WAIT, we DON'T HAVE A TRUCK, I can't magically make trucks appear when I want them, load Ms. Pacman, and then bring it to them. 

Then AFTER they repair it, we have to go through the same hassle again. Meaning, we would again need to find a truck, load Ms. Pacman, get it into our house, and then through at least 2 doorways. That whole ordeal leaves way too much room for possible and probable destruction of rooms, doors, imaginary trucks, etc. 

Wouldn't it be so much easier just to send someone out? According to the Ms. Pacman Repair Companies, no. Rude.

So my mom is forever stuck with a sad, broken, lonely Ms. Pacman machine, who longs for the days when children gathered around her, playing her game, laughter and happiness enveloped her world, and all was right. Woah, too much personification there. Now I am sad for the Ms. Pacman machine. Poor Ms. Pacman. 

Ok, let's move on.

In case you can’t read the bottom half of the page, it says, “spoke with that letter c with a line over it means “with.” Growing up, I thought this was the normal way to abbreviate the word “with.” As if it was an accepted abbreviation in the English language. It turns out this is NOT the case and most people have absolutely NO IDEA what it means.

I just looked it up and that symbol is latin word for with, “cum”( prounounced koo-m) for example graduating magna CUM lade means graduating WITH great honor.  Look at how much you are learning by reading my blog!

According to the internet, this abbreviation is used for medical prescriptions. This explains why when everyone else in middle school was using cool abbreviations like, “brb” and “g2g”, I was deemed odd for using the c with a line over it.

Where was I? Oh yes, “spoke with bill; divorce texas.” Please note the fact that my mom has some weird thing against capital letters. All letters are lowercase in my mom’s world. The only reason she has any capital letters in her papers is when the computer autocorrects for her. I believe she once explained that she didn’t see the point of capital letters. “They know what I mean” was  my mom’s argument.  

I tried my best to decipher my mom’s cryptic message. Who is Bill? Was he planning to divorce a state? Was Bill secretly trying to get Texas to secede from the United States? Doesn’t he know secession is illegal in the USA? Also, why was my mom involved in this possible secession? My mom has never even been to Texas. Not true. One time, we took a flight to somewhere, maybe FL? Anyway, we stopped over in Texas for an hour. It was a really nice airport. I was 10 years old. There was a cool sculpture for the kids to play in. The sculpture had different piano keys on the floor and when you ran over one, the key played its note. 

That's a really cool idea when you have one, two, or maybe even three kids running around. It makes a cool tune. However, when you have FIFTY kids running around, it sounds a hot mess. BLARRGGGHHH was all I heard while running around. It was still fun. I liked that place. 

But stopping in an airport does not count as visiting a place, so never mind. 

I showed my mom her note. She looked at it and thought hard. Then she began laughing at the realization that she had no idea what it meant. Therefore, this interactive notebook that my mom keeps to help her REMEMBER things is clearly not doing it's job. 

Point of the Story: Today you learned about secession. It was ruled illegal in 1869 by Supreme Court Justice Salmon, yes Salmon, P. Chase. Also, don't put full-sized arcade games in your basement unless you know someone who will come fix them if they break. Also, if you know this person, please tell me who they are. 

Final Question of the Story: How did my dad get the Ms. Pacman machine in our basement in the first place?